Major **, US Air Force, emergency directive 69420; prepare for assault by domestic terrorists. To: John Wick
[6:48 PM] September 19, 2019
With your intel about the raiders' plans, we have concluded that they will strike in less than a day. You and your team will be field testing an anomalous weapon (magazine capacity 40) which would turn things into their true form by combining the power of an uno reverse card with obamium and encasing the resulting gas in a caseless cartridge made of yo mama, the only material denser than obamium that is stable enough to contain it. The resulting projectile has lower velocity than conventional weapons but it far more dangerous. Upon impact with the target, the yo mama cartridge falls apart and the gas expands outward, turning all contacted objects into their true form.
Now when I say "true form", I mean that the gun would turn you into the perfect representation of your impact on the universe. This effect was at first difficult to ascertain by the science team due to the seemingly random changes in the form of the target after they were hit by the weapon, but they figured it out by examining the dark matter and energy concentrations around the true form of the subject, as well as a bit of logic.
If a human was hit by such a weapon, they would begin to cauterize and vaporize into dark matter and energy, with no normal matter remaining of them. This effect indicates that the true form of a human is nothing, that they have zero control over the universe around them and that they had no discernible impact on the universe in the grand scheme. A ugandan knuckles would turn into a literal brass knuckle from uganda with some dark matter and energy left behind as well.
This signifies that the ugandan knuckles are, in fact, nothing but ugandan knuckles. You getting the idea? Good. It should be noted that the air, as well as most other materials around the subject are largely unaffected by the blast. A notable exception is oganesson-295 (poganesson), which reforms into obamium for unknown reasons. This weapon is highly impractical in combat since although it is lethal in 100% of cases*, it has a very limited area of effect and the weapon's projectile's chemical can only affect the same matter that it originally touches, within a limited range.**
Now to the orders, you and the rest of alpha squad are to take position in the above ground hub and deter the enemies from getting to the lower levels of the facility. Many will be naruto running, building walls, throwing rocks, and saying "oof" so make sure to drink plenty of soda. Yes, it's unhealthy, but unfortunately there are bigger things at stake at the moment. Oh and you are probably wondering what would happen if you shot a karen with it...if that happens she will turn into a paper with a joke on it...so yeah. Set up a perimeter and kill as many of them as you can. Unfortunately due to the unconventional weapons the enemy will be fielding, you will likely die before Shaggy and the reinforcements from Edwards Air force base arrive. It's been an honor.
*It is theoretically possible to survive a hit if you drink Belle Delphine's bath water, but this is untested. **To clarify, if the gas from the explosion hits human tissue, it will disintegrate all the human tissue it comes into contact with until it hits another material. (the process is complicated) Same thing goes for other biotics and machines, though the effect will obviously be different.