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"That's a lot of damage! How 'bout a little more?!"
– Phil Swift, while destroying a bucket.

Phil Swift is the co-creator of Flex Seal Products and the creator of the product Flex Tape. He is known as one of the strongest Gods in the Milky Way universe. It is possible that Phil is the reincarnation of Billy Mays, but there is no proof of such relations... yet. His other known aliases are Phil Christ - the name often sparks memories of Phil's first crucifixion, which an early prototype of Flex Glue was mainly used to keep the nails hammered into his hands and feet. Since his rebirth, Phil has become one of the strongest beings in his home galaxy... though, due to recent conflicts with his people, he has escaped and hidden himself in a disguise currently known as Phil Swift, a seemingly ordinary businessman pushing his first miracle product, Flex Seal, to the public in hopes that everyday items can be fixed up with an application of tape, glue, paint, or spray. Nobody, besides Phil, knows the true formula which the Flex Seal Products are made of.

Background Edit

Phil Swift has a very mysterious history, It all started When A gate to hidden world opened 9 million years ago, a secret passage to flex world. Phil escaped his home and moved to earth to start his rain of terror. In 600 bc he sent jesus to his death, and in 1677 he killed sombody at a carnival, he took his name and his form. Phils true birth name is Alluhe Ake-baria, his parents were jospeph stalen and a bucket. When Phil was just a yung demon, his father (bucket) left him, causing a pure hatred of buckets. Phil made the first strip of flex tape from children´s tears, some Fresh Avocado, and a bit of Canadian tongue. and he mixed it with his godly blood making the flex tape family of products. Phil has sense been going on killing sprees and is by far the strongest living thing in the cosmos. He was also involved in the My Lai mass acre while serving in the Marines. In this particular instance he killed multiple civilians with Flex Shot. While serving in the Marines he ascended to another spiritual plain and resurrected his father (Bucket). After the ascension he met one Peter Hoover in Romania. So when the fall of the Byzantine empire a young blood by the name Cornelius rose up a started communism in latin america during the 1700s nigga penis

Weapons/Arsenal

  • Flex Seal - His most notable creation, strong enough to repair anything. It can temporarily blind anything, and stop people from running away. It can also create a wall to surround himself. It is rumoured that it can also survive a planet explosion.
    • Flex Seal Colors - Colored versions of Flex Seal that do the same as the original, but can have effects with each different one.
    • Flex Seal Liquid - Liquid version, can be used to blind people and create a better grip for his tools, has also been used to seal wounds on himself.
  • Flex Tape - The most famous variation of Flex Seal, a tape strong enough to repair a boat sawed in half, and was used by Phil to hold together rips in space and time. He also uses it to hush his captives if needed It is by far one of his most powerful weapons.
    • Flex Tape Clear - A clear version. It has the same properties as the original and was used to repair another boat with a hole in it.
  • Flex Shot - A caulk gun made by Phil, was invented when he was held captive by Lord Farquaad, he invented it to make sure his anus was shut so he could not get raped by him. He now uses it to repair things.
  • Flex Glue - Created so he could glue people to walls in case they tried to steal Flex Seal's formula. It is similar to Flex Shot, but it is glue instead and gets stronger the more is stuck on.
  • Block-Out - A tool that Phil is always covered in 24/7 to make sure he is always clean. It can block out anything so he can always be safe. However, it cannot work to defend Flex Products.
  • Foamazing - A pressurized foam wash used to torture people who try to steal the Flex formula. He mainly uses it to push people back as it has a very wide range (half-way across the Earth).
  • Blast Off - Snow melter, was used to melt Frosty The Snowman
    • Winter Wax - Another version of Blast Off.
  • Dagger - He uses it to cause a lot of damage to things, especially buckets. It is one of his non Flex Seal weapons.
  • Chainsaw - he does not currently have it, but it too can cause a lot of damage, it is why buckets fear him.
  • Flex Cannon - an unreleased version of Flex Seal that can reach halfway across the universe, and is strong enough to blow up a star. It can also permanently weld together objects with a strong magnetic attraction. It is stronger than Flex Seal and Flex Tape and is Phil Swift's superweapon in case something goes wrong.
  • Flex Nut - Phil Swift proceeds to furiously masturbate and goes on to ejaculate, causing his opponents to be stuck in his flex nut. Phil's nut is known to be highly radioactive causing it to sometimes burn his enemies. This weapon does not work during November.
  • THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE - Phil yells out "Now that's a lot of damage!" and knocks out all of his enemies
  • Head of bucket king- raising this trophy high Phil can single bucketly destroy an entire army. They say he filled it with flex seal liquid. He sometimes uses it as a cup.
  • FLEX BOAT - Phils trust sidekick, Flex Boat struggles with depression and often asks Phil to cut him in half

Trivia Edit

  • It is possible that Phil Swift is the reincarnation of Billy Mays, having many similarities, and sharing a similar quote to his "But wait, there's more!" when doubling his offers.
  • Phil has been arrested multiple times for killing people with his Flex Seal products. More notably, the 2016 incident which he murdered an infant by placing Flex Tape over its mouth and nose.
  • A Phil Swift article was on the YouTube Poop Wiki, but they only accept things from 2012 or below so they deleted it.
  • It is possible that Flex Tape was a finalized version of Mighty Tape, which was also Billy Mays' last commercial.
  • It is believed that Phil won the Medal of Honor after fixing a wounded man with Flex Tape during the Vietnam War.
  • Phil's brother, Alan Swift, was never seen anywhere in the Flex Seal commercials or any promotional material.
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