Shrek

	Don't Let Your Kids Watch It!
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The following was found scratched into the back of a urinal located in the Vatican:

I was only 9 years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

Kowalski, Analysis

Shrek is a multi-universal entity with skin forged from the semen of Ricardo Milos and flesh strained from the primordial void, his bones are steel carbonated with the fumes of burning minorities and quenched in the blood of innocent men and women. The first action of this creature upon being awakened by the first order of the occult hand was to go an a mass raping spree across the continent of Antarctica, the Carthaginians where decedents of the great ogre lord which is why Rome needed to wipe them out, as if the grew anymore powerful they would have soaked the European soil in Roman blood.

Shrek is also capable of entering a highly energized state of being called "shrex" while in this state he is un-killable by any weapon and will remain in this state until he cums in a virgins asshole, upon which he will revert into his normal form of a mere greater god.

In the early twenty first century an entity known at the time as "Dreamworks entertainment" chronicled the early life of shrek ogre lord, these original copies where confiscated by Vatican officials due to breaking the imortal-postmortal wall upon viewing, so the movie was remade in the PG age grading rather than the more realistic XXX one.

These original copies of the "Shrek movie" where taken to the Vatican where pope Francis attempted to destroy them, however since the CDs where the first items or beings to mention or bear the name of the great ogre lord in a time span of roughly 70 millennium they where crystallized in an invincible layer of Shrek's semen that had manifested upon their surface. The pope was to late to prevent the onset of the Shreko-Euro wars, and so he went to summon one of the most powerful human beings at the time to challenge Shrek when he finally broke the imortal-postmortal wall, breaking into earth's plane of existance.

The being chosen to fight Shrek was Vasiliy Khamotiskiy or "Dumpling." Shrek broke the imortal-postmortal wall on 2083, april 20th in southern florida. This was in service of the simple fact that Shrek can not manifest into his full power while limited by the form of his own body, as his essence is stronger than the vessel that contains it. Florida man (class type 10-50-60, but you know that) was the only being that had a perfect essence bearing vessel but his form had been taken by the essence of the Meth Head God (MHG from now on) also known by the name of Adolf Hitler. Shrek and MHG met latter that day outside a local bar, both of them tripping balls on roughly thirty different hallucinogenics. The ensuing battle lasted roughly 420.69 months leaving a trail of rotting flesh, puss and blood wherever the brawl wandered.

The ultimate victor of the battle is unknown but in the end the effect is all that matters, the two beings came into contact with Barack Obama and Ricardo Milos as they where porking eachother, and all four beings collapsed into a single point ins space, producing two entities of pure evil. The first of these beings was "vore' I shall not describe it and I think you will thank me for this. The second was entity (class type 10-51-69) code title "8chan."

8chan would go on to commit mass genocide and war crimes against every known intelligent species in this universe and likely many unknown ones.

However this article is purposed with briefly documenting the life of Shrek, and that purpose has been fufiled. Shrek sucks💀💀💀💀

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