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TF2 Mercs

The team fortress two cast in the promotional poster

Team Fortress 2 is a FPS game released by the developer Valve, it is a brilliant game with endearing design, lovable characters and an overall lovable atmosphere. The game has a total of 9 different classes, each has their individual issues and high points and there is no point in trying to cover all of them at once since each is completely different than the others in game play and personality mannerisms.

Characters[]

Heavy weapons guy: The heavy is a thicc boi hailing from the U.S.S.R. He likes to shoot gun. In fact he really like gun as his gun is one of the most devastating weapons dps wise in the game. He is built to shower challengers in oceans of damage as he defends his ground for the sake of us, not him, but us like a true communist team player. He also has a sandvitch capable of recovering him in a short amount of time as he prepares for next proletariat struggle against boiguasi. He is also a thicc boi packing more health than any other class at 300hp. But that Thicc comes at the cost of speed, meaning heavy is by far the slowest class in the game, meaning he is vulnerable without the support of other proletariat, you wouldn't leave brave communist hero to die in hail of imperialist onslaught would you?

Demoman: A drunk Scotsman with a love for explosives he can deal vast amounts of damage in a short amount of time, but his main purpose is to defend the teams base with sticky mines and well placed grenade shots. Ensuring the safety of the team the Demoman readies his launcher with a gut full of alcohol and every other organ also filled with alcohol. He can also wield a shield and sword for up close drunken brawling.

Sniper: A tough New Zealander with a high power rifle at the ready to blow off the heads of any local mercs, his nation may have failed to defeat the emus in the great war of the 1930's but here he is to exact vengeance on any who point out that fact. Despite having a likable personality and a decent purpose the Sniper mains are easily the most toxic, only truly challenged by certain scout groups, they generally fall into two categories: the 10 year old who just got grounded from fortnite and loves contributing nothing but annoying chat messages to the team effort, and the innocent group trying to vainly get rid of the steryotype the 360 nO scOPE lOL that those noob players created.

Scout: a fast and agile class meant to quickly overrun the opponent. The sport a deadly modified shotgun and generally are the first push in any offensive. However much like the sniper Scout mains have to deal with the 10 year old retard with a computer and a bitchy attitude ruining their image. Despite this most scout mains are indeed helpful and useful to the entirety of the team.

Engineer: Although the engineer has access to some powerful shotguns he is meant to form the defensive line after a push. once the team pushes through a room for example his job is to set up shop and make sure it sticks. To do this the engineer has three buildings at his disposal: 1 the dispenser, a dispenser dispenses ammo (duh) and allows a team to keep fighting without having to worry as much about ammo boring but essential is you actually want to win. 2 the teleporter i find this self explanatory moving on. 3 the sentry, this is simply an auto turret that fires at anything in its line of sight, it has high dps and health making it a formidable defensive structure.

Spy: The spy can turn invisible for 8 seconds at a time allowing him to sneak past defensive perimeters and do the naughty naughty. He also has the ability to become a player he just killed allowing for more of the naughty naughty. He also has a powerful pistol and a knife that one shots from behind. As such he has one of the most interesting play styles, AKA its basically among us on steroids and with guns. Also avoid pyros, pyros are the woman who poisoned your dog, pyros are your other dad your mom left your first dad for, pyros will kill you before you have the time to yell":OH FU-"(is incinerated by a pyro)

Soldier: The soldier is a hefty but slow class wielding a rocket launcher (AKA explosive Pogo stick). He can make quick work of just about any class one on one if he has surprise on his side. He has a health of 200 and a secondary that can boost that to 220. His only weakness is his reliance on area damage I.E. get close to him so he inflicts self damage and then finish him off. A easy to play class that makes for a good starter.

Medic: medics are equipped with a medigun that can heal allied players, making them THE MOST IMPORTANT CLASS ON THE FIELD. even a mediocre Medic is more valuable than a pro soldier. Medic players are generally good people with nothing to prove and a cap on their ego. They can also preform Ubercharges which temporarily make a player invincible for a period of time.

Pyro: The infamous pyro, a class known for outstanding combat potential. (In my humble and un-bias opinion as pyro is my main and i am very happy to play pyro) the pyro is an adaptable class that also has unmatched close range combat ability with his flamethrower (yes i assumed pyro is a man, so what), his secondaries are some of the most diverse ranging from shotguns(angry weed pipes) to flair guns(incendiary rocket launchers) to a jet pack(WEEEEEEEEEEE!). The pyro can be built to do just about anything and has the air-blast ability (a concussion cannon) for added utility. Also if you have trouble fighting them try using ranged weapons and outsmarting them (those 10 year olds are everywhere).

Team Fortress Two is many things, a hat simulator, one of the few good Free to plays, a good time, and worthwhile. But above all is a game with an endearing appeal and amazing advertising.

And now a moment for Rick May.

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